I'm not happy.
There I said it. I'm not depressed or anything, but I'm not happy.
I think that it's alright. That God can call us to do something for him and that it's gunna take hard work and it means that we have to really plug into him, but at that same time, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes, it sucks, and it's hard, and it drags us away from the things we love the most, or the people we love, or the people who we think we could love but they..... anyways I digress.
Either way, I am in the north, my hometown, the one place that I thought I knew what happeness was. I have everything the world tells me I need. I have my family, and I have a job, and I am making money, and I have interent and TV and everything rich and worldy I could imagine.
I am unhappy.
Now don't get me wrong. I am grateful for every single thing I have recieved while I have been here. Seeing my family has been incredible, and they have been wonderful to me. I appreciate that I can work and make money when there are people who can't and I have the prillivage.
However, its the superfical, the thing I thought I needed, was stuff that I really really DON'T.
I would trade this all up, for my little bedroom, in a little tiny house, with four tiny children, that love me more than I could have ever possible imagined. I would give up every second on my PS3 to hear Aubrey tell me that I missed the point, again. I would give up the constantt internet to hear Koos tell me that I am crazy... about something.
I suppose that the point here, was maybe God was trying to teach me a lession. A lession he tried to teach me, while I was happy, but like the silly human I am. I ignored him, and he sent me on a new mission. This mission I am not sure if I am doing well, or to his liking, but I continue to try.
As I continue to try and hear him, and let him speak to my heart, and do his will. Even though, I am unhappy, and would like just one more day to be happy, with nothing but my BC family and my little house in Duncan.
To God be the glory.
and may I learn more patience, as this is all he contines to tell me.
There I said it. I'm not depressed or anything, but I'm not happy.
I think that it's alright. That God can call us to do something for him and that it's gunna take hard work and it means that we have to really plug into him, but at that same time, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes, it sucks, and it's hard, and it drags us away from the things we love the most, or the people we love, or the people who we think we could love but they..... anyways I digress.
Either way, I am in the north, my hometown, the one place that I thought I knew what happeness was. I have everything the world tells me I need. I have my family, and I have a job, and I am making money, and I have interent and TV and everything rich and worldy I could imagine.
I am unhappy.
Now don't get me wrong. I am grateful for every single thing I have recieved while I have been here. Seeing my family has been incredible, and they have been wonderful to me. I appreciate that I can work and make money when there are people who can't and I have the prillivage.
However, its the superfical, the thing I thought I needed, was stuff that I really really DON'T.
I would trade this all up, for my little bedroom, in a little tiny house, with four tiny children, that love me more than I could have ever possible imagined. I would give up every second on my PS3 to hear Aubrey tell me that I missed the point, again. I would give up the constantt internet to hear Koos tell me that I am crazy... about something.
I suppose that the point here, was maybe God was trying to teach me a lession. A lession he tried to teach me, while I was happy, but like the silly human I am. I ignored him, and he sent me on a new mission. This mission I am not sure if I am doing well, or to his liking, but I continue to try.
As I continue to try and hear him, and let him speak to my heart, and do his will. Even though, I am unhappy, and would like just one more day to be happy, with nothing but my BC family and my little house in Duncan.
To God be the glory.
and may I learn more patience, as this is all he contines to tell me.
You are growing and learning my beautiful girl, therefore, your mission is more than complete!! We are so proud of you. Keep on pressing in.
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