Alright WORLD.
I'm RAGING AGAINST YOU.
You WORLD. YOU DRIVE ME NUTS!
YOUR LUST, YOUR GREED, YOUR LAZINESS, YOUR UTTER CHAOS.
Your sick mentality, your treatment of people. The utter disgusting love of celebrities and money and sex and drugs and booze. I DON'T CARE IF IT SEEMS CLOSE MINDED. I'm not falling for your trap. I'm going to fight.
I'm going to stick with God.
I'm going to try my hardest to save my soul. I'm not going to be a drunk, I'm not going to do drugs. I'm not going to bonk every man that walks my way because "it feels good". I'm not going to sit here and let you consume me like you do every day to other poor souls. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that what Miley Cyrus had for freaking breakfast needs to effect me. I'm not going to sit here and waste my life away always chasing the new iPad, or the new cell phone.
I'VE HAVE ENOUGH. I've never been able to live like that. I tried once, to fit in and it didn't work, and I was EMPTY.
So now, I'm raging against you, HOLLYWOOD, THE WORLD and all that you stand for.
I Stand With God.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
How Incredible Cool is God?
More cool that YOU could possible imagine!
But first, let's lay out the scene.
Sit back and pretend to close you eyes, because if you really did, then you would have to stop reading...
Picture a very angry 18 year old girl.
Sitting in her room, on her computer, pretending that nothing happens outside her door. Living in her own head, doesn't trust or believe in anyone. Parents have split up. Her mum is off in la-la-land. Her dad is trying to keep the kids together. She has dropped out of school and have given the middle finger to life.
Sounds pretty pathetic in my opinion. But last year, as this very time. That is were I was. I had given up, and NO ONE was going to change my mind. Yet for some reason, the only place I ever felt like I could breathe was when I was with Aubrey, having a coffee and just pouring out my soul about how awful my life was. I think now, Aubrey must have been thinking, why is this kid whining to me. But I can see now that God had the most incredible plans for me. God put on Aubrey and Koos's heart to take a chance on me, and invited me to come live with them in Duncan.
The very idea, freaked the crap out of me at first, but I really honestly believe that if I didn't go. I would never finish school and I would sit in my room and rot.
But, after much thought, prayer, tears, heartache, goodbyes to friends and pets. I did it. I moved.
Now, life isn't perfect. I don't wake up every morning singing with birds and baking pies with a smile on my face. But I'm getting my school done and I've never been more excited to finish, and to get my own place and to start (GASP) living on my own. I thought so sure I would NEVER EVER get here!! But that is the incredible power of Jesus went you let him in your life. I don't think I can fully type out just how amazing I feel at this very moment, but try for a second to imagine me going
"howiwanttoplanmynewplaceenventhoughifonthaveoneand
imstilllookingforoneeventhoughtistillhavemonthstogoandit
mightnotevenworkoutbutgodissocoolandmaybeitwillandithink
imgoingtogetaonebedroomandiwonderhowmuchmoneyimgoing
needandomgiamsoexcited......."
God is sure dang cool.
But first, let's lay out the scene.
Sit back and pretend to close you eyes, because if you really did, then you would have to stop reading...
Picture a very angry 18 year old girl.
Sitting in her room, on her computer, pretending that nothing happens outside her door. Living in her own head, doesn't trust or believe in anyone. Parents have split up. Her mum is off in la-la-land. Her dad is trying to keep the kids together. She has dropped out of school and have given the middle finger to life.
Sounds pretty pathetic in my opinion. But last year, as this very time. That is were I was. I had given up, and NO ONE was going to change my mind. Yet for some reason, the only place I ever felt like I could breathe was when I was with Aubrey, having a coffee and just pouring out my soul about how awful my life was. I think now, Aubrey must have been thinking, why is this kid whining to me. But I can see now that God had the most incredible plans for me. God put on Aubrey and Koos's heart to take a chance on me, and invited me to come live with them in Duncan.
The very idea, freaked the crap out of me at first, but I really honestly believe that if I didn't go. I would never finish school and I would sit in my room and rot.
But, after much thought, prayer, tears, heartache, goodbyes to friends and pets. I did it. I moved.
Now, life isn't perfect. I don't wake up every morning singing with birds and baking pies with a smile on my face. But I'm getting my school done and I've never been more excited to finish, and to get my own place and to start (GASP) living on my own. I thought so sure I would NEVER EVER get here!! But that is the incredible power of Jesus went you let him in your life. I don't think I can fully type out just how amazing I feel at this very moment, but try for a second to imagine me going
"howiwanttoplanmynewplaceenventhoughifonthaveoneand
imstilllookingforoneeventhoughtistillhavemonthstogoandit
mightnotevenworkoutbutgodissocoolandmaybeitwillandithink
imgoingtogetaonebedroomandiwonderhowmuchmoneyimgoing
needandomgiamsoexcited......."
God is sure dang cool.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Offensively Honest?
I have come to a most unfortunate crossroads.
I would love to share my blog with my friends on facebook. I would love to 100% honest with everyone that reads my blogs. Unfortunately, if I was honest honest in my blog. I would offend much of my family.
My mother always told me to not air out the dirty laundry. It's not as if I want to write out all my family secrets, it's just there are aspects of my life that are direct reasons as to why I am living all the way in BC and not finishing my high-school in my home town, living with my family.
Part of me wants to write out the whole sad strange tale. To be honest about why I do what I do, but at the same time I don't want to hurt my family. BUT at the very same time, it's not like what they are doing is a secret. My whole hometown knows why I left. My family knows too. Maybe writing it all out makes it real?
I used to think that I could move here to Duncan, and no one would wonder why some 18 year old girl, left her life and family behind, move 24 hours away from home and her family to simply "finish high-school." Looking at it now, it seems a bit absurd. They is more to it than that. The only thing, am I ready to share it? I think I am, but than again, I feel like I'm stir-ing up stuff.
This world sure does bring trouble on my soul.
Just by writing this very entry. I'm going to offend.
I would love to share my blog with my friends on facebook. I would love to 100% honest with everyone that reads my blogs. Unfortunately, if I was honest honest in my blog. I would offend much of my family.
My mother always told me to not air out the dirty laundry. It's not as if I want to write out all my family secrets, it's just there are aspects of my life that are direct reasons as to why I am living all the way in BC and not finishing my high-school in my home town, living with my family.
Part of me wants to write out the whole sad strange tale. To be honest about why I do what I do, but at the same time I don't want to hurt my family. BUT at the very same time, it's not like what they are doing is a secret. My whole hometown knows why I left. My family knows too. Maybe writing it all out makes it real?
I used to think that I could move here to Duncan, and no one would wonder why some 18 year old girl, left her life and family behind, move 24 hours away from home and her family to simply "finish high-school." Looking at it now, it seems a bit absurd. They is more to it than that. The only thing, am I ready to share it? I think I am, but than again, I feel like I'm stir-ing up stuff.
This world sure does bring trouble on my soul.
Just by writing this very entry. I'm going to offend.
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