Friends (Part 2)

Friends,
Correction, I don't know how to have them.
I've learned that I am not a very good friend, or at least that is the conclusion I have come to. The close friends I have never last long, and they find new friends and once again I am without. Now, this is not a oh woe is me. Because the lack of friends is no one fault but my own. I'm learning that to other people, I'm not compassionate, and I'm not understanding, and I'm way to in people's face. So my options are, I can have lots of friends but change who I am, or be who I am, and not have a soul in the world.

What kind of principles do I have that other people don't like? Is it a matter of pride, that I chose to not change, or do I even need to.
I honestly, don't want to be a huge bitch. I don't like that is how people perceive me, however, I don't want to change my values for the world. So here I am, at the crossroads. I can re-evaluate who I am, and become more "personable" or be who I am. To be honest. I have no idea what I am going to do.

While, part of me is devastated that I am no longer best friends with a close friend, because things have changed, and well she is doing so wonderful, it makes me wonder if I corrupted her, and caused her hurts that I didn't need to, but it is my greatest happiness that she has found true friends.

I really don't know how I feel about all this, but the worst part is the fact that I haven't felt this way in a long time, and the last time it happened I swore I would never let it happen again, but here I am, once again pushed a friend away, and I don't know whats wrong...

Maybe the answer's will come one day.